I
looked a little light. A tiny piece of paper, with a purple Pegasus
painted on it. Like a postage stamp. I hesitated for a moment, pondering
what is the purpose of the letter, after I realized that not to bother,
and I did a gulp. Strange
taste, old
paper impregnated with a slightly bitter powder. A glass of water to
descend more easily. Like a drug, tonic for the new week.
I felt
my heart pounding. I knew what to expect more or less, but like to have
the experience would be unprecedented. "Six hundred micrograms. In fifty
minutes will have you take off, "he said with a sly smile by the
supplier. Do not think that I'm certainly no junky. From former
classmate found it, a small stunted to such tricks. "Look after only
being in a good phase, psychologically, say, or else I'll go crazy .."
Good phase? During the last six months I have not been better.
I waited for this moment with longing. In this purple Pegasus saw the Messiah.
My clock 15:21 wrote. Nervously knocked my feet for awhile. Was this
the embarrassment felt by the actors just before getting on stage. To
make the time pass I asked myself again why I did it. And I replied with
the same poem, I was thinking the last six months.
"Why did you do that eh asshole?"
"I'm tired. The bored ALL. I'm sick of objects falling down,
expensive and cheap cars, the food I eat morning noon evening, dogs with
four legs, my job, relationships, everything. And mostly I'm sick of my
own life. In the beginning it was not bad. The first eighteen to
nineteen years was nice. Vary certainly more and more, but at least I
knew new things. The problem is habit. Now my brain works as archivist.
Gets information, life and memories, to cast a quick glance, and sorts
along with thousands of others on the shelf they belong. After sitting
in his office and continues to solve the crossword unconcerned. This
lack of meaning disgusting. A thousand times paranoia. "
Satisfied
with the reason that I had just recite to myself, I went and sat on the
couch in the lounge. I wonder how this would take my mates; One
probably will not believe me, you thought that he was working. And of
course you afraid to try. The other again could not come because he has
gone to see "the panatha." Even harder drugs ie. I continued to make
unnecessary thoughts, and wait patiently for a few minutes, when
suddenly I heard a crash. I turned sharply, but did not see anything.
"You think?" Turned my gaze to the white wall. Or rather the wall that
is usually white, but that moment seemed to have red and yellow stripes.
I smiled. My watch was now unusually shiny and wrote 16:01. "Yes. The
train to the town of psychedelia came ten minutes ago. "I said aloud and
chachanisa.
That is not exactly chachanisa. I began to flop
down in laughter, realizing how funny was the shit I had just uttering.
"Train for the country psychedelia!! But that thought? "Got up and began
to notice the space around my living room that had been turned into a
circus, an explosion of colors, shapes, sounds and smells. Each small
objects of my daily routine had now become a beautiful uniqueness.
Ecstatic, scrutinized photographs, flower vases, books, picture frames.
Everything was fluid, variable. Flickering, as if trying to breathe.
Everything looked like something else, jumped from form to form. Indeed,
the controller of the TV for a moment it seemed as if gray iguana.
Hallucinations ... A desperate-and failed-attempt-brain archivist to
sort.
It's impressive how a substance so boring name like "lysergic acid diethylamide" can captivate so much.
I continued my tour in the other rooms, treating everything with a
sacred respect. The water flowed from the fountain seemed like whispers
serene old songs. The glass bulb in the bathroom was the most perfect
texture. Totally smooth, transparent, glossy. Off soap bubble was as
hard and looked like a prisoner lit firefly. The marble tiled floor
radiated a vibrant black color. Even when he closed his eyes, complex
geometric patterns unfolding before me.
Watch me now wrote 4p + i: e.
Close to my room I came across a spider. That already discussed.
Mainly for the time and if we are the only planet with life in the
universe. She said she certainly is not so, and to have this perception
is selfish. I agreed and welcomed. Then I went out on the balcony.
And somewhere completely excised from the usual reality. Facing
the evening sky, my breathing stopped. My hands began to tremble, and
instinctively knelt with religious
reverence before him. It was so
beautiful, so shiny, and perfectly colored, the language fails to
describe him. I felt unspeakable joy, a metaphysical conclusion that I
was standing in front of something so magnificent. Redemptive tears
flowed from my eyes. I stopped describing things with words. All were
images and scents, tastes and sounds. The five joined my senses,
creating a unique blend. Him in Heaven tasted and smelled, and heard the
divine music. For a few minutes, every sense logic collapsed inside.
And then I felt lightweight ... Lightweight and FREE from meanings,
thoughts, feelings, jobs, laws and objectives. "You're now free .." Said
a warm and cheerful voice, that seemed disturbingly much as mine. I
looked around puzzled. "There is nobody here .. "I said to myself. "So I
was the one who told me." "Yes", I can add to. "You're right." Worried,
I went to talk to him. That speaks to me. That is the same ..
-Freed from everything. Even from yourself.
-Mo .. can not!
Apanisa fearful, but I went over to go with a third voice broke.
And then a fourth. "Shit .." At every step of my association xepidouse
and another self that talked, until my head was filled with voices and
loud. What I call now had become a thousand pieces. Breaking away from
the shackles of reason, but now we get stuck in a nightmarish madness.
Multiple successive schizophrenia. Panicked, closed our ears and our
eyes and ran inwards screaming.
Fortunately, the road was
found in the table, which forced us to stumble, and after a spectacular
flight to land firmly on the ground. Was that it had to recover. The
voices murmured one now numb "Ouch .." And slowly began to coordinate
and combine them. Beginning to find again my ego.
I spent
some time lying on his back, trying to calm down. My thoughts stopped
and looked at the ceiling committed, but this time gathered with all my
strength, I tried to keep my cool, stay in the moment.
And again I felt that feeling of deep integration with plymmirizei to
and awakens my senses, to integrate it in a much more powerful and real.
I stood serene. Plus there was no "real" and "fake" or hallucinations.
Seeing things as they really are, eternal and unchangeable. The feel and
understand them as if they were part of me ...
Or rather
not "like." My conscience at that time surpassed my body started to
expand. Became one of the walls, plants, my TV and my doors. And then I
came out of the confines of my home. I felt concur with the whole world,
the universe, from the most worthless ant to the most glorious galaxy
was all ego. And in this moment beautiful union, harmonizing with
everything I found enlightenment. The first time after a long time that
was finally makes sense.
The only thing that was keeping
from me to stay forever in this peace and eternity was my body. I had
almost forgotten ... Sooner or later the effects would pass, and I was
back in the ordinary world, boredom, objects fall and brain archivist,
as before.
But then I realized. He could not lose
anything. The Enlightenment would remain hidden inside me, until we
discover again. The barrier was not my body. In fact without this will
not ever arrived here. The body is but a disguise, a costume of flesh
and bones wear temporarily, the only means I have to get Enlightenment,
the only thing that matters in the end. The work obligations, social,
material possessions, had now lost all meaning. I was filled with
immense happiness and optimism for the future. I knew now what I should
do.
I was in this state of peace and fullness for hours. I
felt that I was there for everything, but still I found very little.
Slowly, I felt my senses being separated, to return to my body. Landing
in the ordinary world.
Now I'm lying on my bed. A beautiful warmth penetrates. My journey is complete.
My clock now says 03:30.
Get tired in the kitchen to drink some water. I think my nose is
broken. We can not sleep. Damn, who wakes up tomorrow for work ...
Really, who wakes up?
In fact, this sky is very beautiful. Let him sit still browse through the little ...